Mind Reading....

I recently was chatting to an occupational therapist about living with Lipedema and Dercums and how I feel about being in public and she observed that I do a lot of "mind reading"

"Mind reading" is  making assumptions about other people’s thoughts, feelings and behaviours without checking the evidence.

I could see what the therapist meant, I mean, I do mind read. When I eat in public, I assume people are thinking "omg check out the big fatty, stuffing her face again" So I make sure everything I eat in public involves salad. 

So why do I mind read this way? 

Simple really - I have experience. 

I have seen all the memes and photos on the internet mocking fat people eating. Google it - they are everywhere. 

I have also had people comment to me directly about what I am eating in public. 

I have also heard people telling stories to their friends about fat people they have observed "filling their faces" 

So am I "mind reading", or have I just learned that it's most likely that people observing a fat person eat will think negatively of them.

My negative experiences with people thinking negatively about fat people eating in public, or in general for that matter, has definitely modified my thought process, confidence and pressure to conform to expectations.  Fat people are expected to live a life of restriction, punishment and accountability to everyone.  There is a good chance people are judging me negatively full stop. In my country, New Zealand, it is legal to discriminate against fat people.
Here is a quote from a recent article from the blog called Friend of Marilyn. 

"It is legal to discriminate against me in Aotearoa New Zealand. Even though research clearly demonstrates that fat people are discriminated against in educational, employment, and housing, settings, New Zealand hasn’t legislated to make it illegal. In fact, very few places around the world have provided protection for individuals from facing discrimination based on their size." Cat from Friend of Marilyn. 

You can read the full post Here

Does this just happen to fat people? Nope, I have a friend who is living with chronic fatigue syndrome. She mind reads that people think she is lazy. How did she start mind reading that reaction from people? Someone planted the seed in her brain that people think that of her, she may have heard negative comments about others with chronic fatigue syndrome and so she mind reads people - believing that they think her lazy without proof they do. 

So what to do about it.... 

Honestly, I am not in a place in my life that I feel strong enough to take on the world and challenge stigmas and crusade for change. 
Maybe in the future when I have come to terms with what I am going through, maybe when I learn to love myself again. 
In the mean time, what I can do is start taking notice of when I am mind reading. Start considering how much of my mind reading is based, in fact. 
Weigh up, how much mind reading shapes my behavior and if said behaviours are positive or negative. 
Start testing what would happen if I challenged a mind reading behaviour. Let's use my eating in public example. 
I plan on doing a couple of experiments in the future to see if I can change my thought processes around that. 

Regardless, it feels good to acknowledge that some of the mind reading going on in my life, will be based on fact. Now how to get to a place where I don't care what others think, that way, no matter what I mind read - it will effect my behavior in a negative way less and less. It's all about trying to live in an authentic way, it's about being in the moment, it's about finding out what makes me happy.